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David Letterman: National Treasure

3 min read

Retired David Letterman, not actually Sasquatch.I finally got around to reading David Marchese's incredible interview of David Letterman for Vulture on my flight to Atlanta today, and its pure gold. Throughout the interview, Letterman addresses everything from politics, to his interview style, to the late night wars with Jay Leno, to which he hilariously responds, "I'm assuming I'll bump into him before I die."

Letterman also touches on grappling with a return to "civilian life," and adjusting to living the life of an average American. His exchange with Merchese over his attempt to purchase new shoelaces is prototypical, classic David Letterman, and made me laugh out loud:

I needed a pair of shoelaces. And I thought, Hell, where do you get shoelaces? And my friend said, there’s a place over off I-84, it’s the Designer Shoe Warehouse. So I go over there, and it’s a building the size of the Pentagon. It’s enormous. If you took somebody from — I don’t know, pick a country where they don’t have Designer Shoe Warehouses — blindfolded them and turned them loose in this place, they would just think, You people are insane. Who needs this many shoes? It’s sinful.

The interview eventually does turn to politics. One of my favorite segments of the centers on Vice President Mike Pence, from Letterman's home state of Indiana:

Pence scared the hell out of me. There was a therapy …. conversion therapy. That’s when I just thought, Oh God, really, Indiana? I don’t care if you’re a fundamentalist Christian — even they have gay relatives. They can’t be saying homosexuality is a sin. It’s horseshit. Then, this transgender issue that just happened, I just think, Are you kidding me? Look, you’re a human, I’m a human. We’re breathing the same air. We have the same problems. We’re trying to get through our day. Who the fuck are you to throw a log in the road of somebody who has a different set of difficulties in life?

Letterman has always been such a wonderful, sardonic voice that is really missing from late night television. He wasn't just a silly comedian poking fun at any and every topic, he was just a quirky guy from Indiana who just wanted everyone to enjoy life. During his tenure as a late night talk show host, he reacted with such candor and authenticity to every piece of news, and it really felt like you were having a conversation with a funny uncle.

In the interview, Letterman also addressed how late night television is increasingly able to talk politics:

Bill Clinton having sex with the intern, well, that’s not comedic heavy lifting. After that it became George W. Bush, and I thought he was funny in a harmless way. I mean, Dick Cheney was the guy to keep your eye on at a party, because he’d be going through your wife’s purse. But George W. was nothing but fun.

Thoughout the interview, Letterman refers to the sitting President of the United States as "Trumpy," and it gives me more joy than it probably should. Gold, I say! Pure gold.

David Letterman is a gosh darn national treasure.